A sweary child is a comedy staple. An adorable little moppet casually dropping the S-bomb is the appeals-to-everyone gag that never goes out of style. So why do most parents shudder at the thought of their own kid turning round and suggesting they go and eff themselves in their whatevers? Yet we still try to protect little ears.
*Spin* Babymothers, do you still sleep with your child's father?
I have fucking had it with motherhood - renegade mothering
By Chris Seiter. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity there she was. Mothers are supposed to be loving and supportive and fathers are supposed to be protective but most importantly, they are supposed to be around. Baby Daddy: The father of your child, whom you are not involved with and he is not anywhere to be found.
How to Make a Baby Shut the Fuck Up and Go to Sleep
The author with his wife and baby. Right after the baby pops out it takes hella naps, cause being in the real world with actual gravity is wild tiring compared to floating around in amniotic fluid. But once the baby gets the swing of that post-utero life and starts seeing all the fun to be had in the waking world it's like "fuck sleep. As we all know, sleep is the cousin of death. And nobody knows this more than a baby.
First, the world makes me think having a baby is the greatest fulfillment of my woman-self paired with pastel nursery items and tiny duck sleep-sacks. Like having a doll only more fun because it gives life everything you need to not worry about death. I was, however, twenty-one when I found out I was pregnant with my first kid, and had, admittedly, spent the previous few years face-down in my own alcoholic vomit aim high , but I really thought having a baby was like adding a small tasteful accessory to the lapel of an otherwise-totally-unchanged life.